Adam Pedermen was the last person to leave the elevator. If you had asked any of the other passengers, they would have thought that he would never leave. Without much fanfare, Adam found himself standing in the middle of the vast hallway, both walls lined with doors that led to all kinds of doctors. Twice a week Adam visits his psychiatrist, Dr. Warren Bates. During those two visits each week, he ends up trying to open the wrong door to the wrong doctor.
Taking a deep breath as if he was about to attempt an Olympic high dive, he turned to his right and tried this direction first. After a few mishaps, he finally remembered which door led to his therapist. Just before he opened the door, he reached inside his coat pocket and produced a white handkerchief. Carefully folding it in half and then into thirds, he gently wrapped it around the doorknob in an eerie meticulous fashion.
“Don’t worry I’ll tell her!” The door suddenly flew open, the handkerchief covered doorknob collided with Adam’s weak stomach, immediately sending him to his knees.
“Oh shit! My bad! Let me help you up, bro!” The embarrassed man said as he attempted to grab Adam’s arm.
“Get your goddamn hands off of me!” Adam shrieked.
Some of the neighboring doctor’s office doors opened, allowing for a few heads to pop out and peer at Adam. The man who was trying to help Adam slowly backed away and carefully maneuvered himself around him and headed down the hallway.
“This place is loaded with nuts,” the man murmured to nobody in particular as he made his way to the elevators.
Adam grabbed his handkerchief and frantically began to wipe his clothes as if he was now contaminated with anthrax or some other lethal substance. When he was satisfied with his impromptu dry cleaning, he repeated the process.
This time proved to be successful, allowing Adam to safely enter Dr. Warren Bates’s office. Nodding at Gertrude the secretary, he headed to the closest seat. Before taking his seat, he used his handkerchief to clean it the best he could. Gertrude smiled at him and reached for the phone.
Inside the safe confines of his spacious office, Dr. Bates sat at his desk with his feet resting on top of his desk blotter. His eyes were glued to the massive flat screen TV that hung from the ceiling at the opposite side of the room.
“Good morning! This is your morning cup of Bert Grabel at Channel 8 KVCA TV! Today, we start off this morning’s news with reports of another body found. The authorities are now saying that this looks like another victim of what has appeared to be a string of murders where the bodies have been all discovered in dumpsters behind various Yoga studios in the Venice Beach area. Authorities are confirming this because of a specific object that had been found at every crime scene covered with the blood of the victim. Police have agreed to tell us that it could be an over-the-counter asthma inhaler but universal confirmation on this hasn’t happened to this point. an asthma inhaler. One reporter at the LA Times has officially coined the nickname, “The Yoga Party killer. I am not sure if that name is going to stick but has been all over the newswire.”
“Yoga Party killer! Hahaha! A take on toga party! I get it!” The handsome doctor ran his hand through his thick mane of salt and pepper gray hair as he chuckled. Suddenly his phone began to ring, distracting him from his thoughts. He reached inside his desk drawer, grabbed the remote and aimed it at the TV before answering the phone.
“Yeah, thanks for letting me know,” Dr. Bates smiled and hung up his phone without saying goodbye.
The door opened not more than five seconds after the doctor hung up the phone. Dr. Bates casually rose to his feet in anticipation of Adam’s entrance to his office. He watched as the doorknob began to jiggle but not open.
Realizing the problem, Dr. Bates groaned under his breath as he made his way across the room to open the door. Standing in the doorway was Adam holding his white handkerchief, his glasses halfway down the bridge of his nose. He cracked a half smile as he carefully inserted his handkerchief into his coat pocket. Pushing his glasses up his nose he looked at Dr. Bates.
“That door gets me every time,” Adam sheepishly explained.
“Maybe I should just replace the door with one of those swinging doors that they had in those saloons of the wild west,” the doctor gestured Adam to sit in his usual seat which does every visit.
“You could do that for me?” Adam asked with a look of a child being told by their parents that he might just get the present he really wanted for Christmas. The doctor briefly turned away and rolled his eyes without Adam noticing.
“Well, I would have to check with the zoning and make sure it wouldn’t be against the law to put them in the building,” Dr. Bates answered. Adam was about to ask a question that would have undoubtedly continued this conversation which wasn’t part of the plan for today’s session.
“Have a seat, Adam,” the doctor urged as Adam searched for his handkerchief once again. The doctor pulled out his notepad and began to prepare himself for the session. Dr. Bates waited patiently until Adam had cleaned the seat to his liking.
“So, is there something in particular you would like to discuss first?” Dr. Bates asked.
“You know, as a matter of fact there is,” Adam said thoughtfully.
“Really?” Dr. Bates asked. He perked up, thankful that he had something to talk about this week instead of the usual silence he gets when he asks Adam to start a session.
“Yes,” Adam responded enthusiastically.
“Ok, I’m ready when you are,” Dr. Bates smiled as he clicked his pen several times in a row. This was a nervous habit, and it irritated Adam, but he refused to tell the doctor, so he quietly sat in frustration.
“I have something to confess,” Adam announced.
“Well, I would love to hear it,” Dr. Bates said as he clicked his pen several more times, much to Adam’s concealed disgust.
“I don’t really know how to sugarcoat this so I’m just going to come out and say it. I am the killer that they are talking about everyday on the news,” Adam declared in a surprisingly nonchalant tone as opposed to the severity of his confession.
“Which killer might that be?” The doctor asked.
“There’s more than one?” Adam asked, sounding more than a little bewildered.
“I’m not sure about that. However, I have heard of a killer that they are calling,” The Yoga Party Killer,” who apparently is murdering girls and leaving them in dumpsters behind some yoga studios in and around Venice Beach,” Dr. Bates said. Adam noticed that the doctor seemed to be acting a little nervous, but he chose not to dwell on his behavior rather opting to focus on his.
“That’s what they are calling me now?” Adam asked with a smile.
“If you are really the killer, then yes,” Dr. Bates replied.
“Wow! It feels good to be loved,” Adam quickly answered.
“I have to say I’m a little surprised by your revelation today. I do also have to add however, that due to your condition, you and I both know that not everything you say is truthful,” Dr. Bates said with a look that could only be construed as disappointment.
“I can prove it!” Adam excitedly declared out of the blue.
“Well, if that’s the case, go right ahead,” Dr. Bates exclaimed.
“Okay, you asked for it. But I have one thing to say before I do this. I want to be the one to confess to the police. That way I can feel like I’m doing my civic duty for reporting a killer who is a threat to the public. I’m sure I will be a hero. Don’t you think, Dr. Bates?” Adam asked in a very serious and introspective tone.
“Oh absolutely! I have no doubt!” The psychiatrist seemed slightly relieved for some reason as he began to scribble furiously in his notepad.
“Well, then this is all worth it then,” Adam proclaimed as he reached into his outer coat pocket. The doctor watched Adam pull out what looked like a blood-stained asthma inhaler.
“In every crime scene there is an inhaler. Just like this one! I brought the one that I had with me last night! See? I bet that they won’t mention that they didn’t find one from last night,” Adam said.
“I was watching the morning news before you arrived this morning and they specifically mentioned that they did find an inhaler at the scene,” the doctor interjected much to the chagrin of Adam.
“They’re fucking lying!” Adam suddenly shouted. Dr. Bates didn’t flinch since nothing surprised or startled him anymore after a lifetime of this job.
“Now why would the police lie to the public?” Dr. Bates asked.
“That’s a lie right there! You and I know damn well that those damn cops are all full of shit! You can honestly look me in the eye and tell me that you actually trust a cop? Of course they are lying! They want the public to know that they have so many leads that they don’t even give a shit if they mention one out loud. You, see? Do you understand now what I’m talking about!
“Well, I have to say what you have there is compelling evidence indeed. My advice to you would be to go and turn yourself in to the police right after we’re done here. The sooner that this nightmare is over, the sooner the public can get back to living their lives again without having to look over their shoulder loading groceries in their car,” Dr. Bates explained.
“I agree! I shouldn’t wait another second! I want to go now! Can we add the minutes to the next session? I can’t wait!” Adam gleefully requested.
“Assuming that you aren’t in custody, I don’t see that as being a problem whatsoever,” Dr. Bates slowly rose to his feet and extended his hand to Adam. Immediately after doing so, he retracted the gesture as he quickly remembered Adam’s phobia about shaking hands.
“Thanks for everything, doctor. You are really making a difference in my life,” Adam graciously said.
“My pleasure. Don’t forget your inhaler! They will need that for DNA,” Dr. Bates added. Adam nodded profusely in agreement with the doctor’s observation as he carefully placed the inhaler in his pocket.
“Good luck! Let me know how it goes! It will probably be all over the news anyway. I just want you to know I’m here for you any time of day,” Dr. Bates smiled.
“Oh, trust me doctor, you’ll be the first to know!” Adam said over his shoulder as he briskly headed for the door.
Dr. Bates stood by his desk and smiled for at least five minutes after Adam had left his office. Still smiling, the doctor walked over to his file cabinet and slowly pulled out one of the drawers. The evil therapist reached inside the drawer all the way back. After a few seconds of moving things around, he produced a plastic bag. Holding it up to the light, upon closer inspection, a blood covered inhaler could be seen inside.
“You know come to think of it Adam, you’re the one making a difference in my life!” Dr. Bates proclaimed as he burst into hysterical fits of laughter that could be heard throughout the whole office and beyond.